Mindless Munching, Eating Disorder Recovery, Economic Consequences, Getting Better Anyway

Mindless Munching is the topic of a Wall Street Journal  May 13, 2008 article by Melinda Beck.

Mindful Eating

Her article, “Put a End to Mindless Munching,” is a credible piece on mindful eating. I’m glad to see this perspective on eating move into greater public awareness via this well respected news publication.

My gladness has several aspects.  One, information about paying attention to the specific details of your eating experience may help you develop a valuable exercise that can bring you to a normal and healthy way of being present for your genuine experience and genuine body need for nourishment.

When you practice mindful eating you can discover what food can offer you.  The other deep yearnings you have that are not satisfied by food are then exposed so you can learn to address those needs in a more life enhancing way. 

If you have an eating disorder, mindful eating can show you the power of your resistance to being present in this world.

Moving through that resistance, gently, respectfully and with compassion for yourself Is fundamental for eating disorder recovery.  If you actually eat mindfully you will be vulnerable to your own feelings, which is the beginning of recovery work.

This information is important and the Wall Street Journal is an important periodical. But it’s not known as a health journal.  The reputation of the WSJ is built on its being a fair and in depth business journal.

Mindless Consumption in our Culture

So while Melinda Beck is writing about ending mindless munching with reference to food, the fact that her article appears in the WSJ connects her writing to business.

I am so very glad to see this.  Endless munching can refer to eating mindlessly at anything, i.e. mindless and endless consumption with little or no criteria for stopping.  You can buy and the fact you have no more money doesn’t stop you.  You can buy on credit or borrow.

Mindless consumption involves a lack of recognition of what you truly need in terms of objects.  It is based your need to not be present as the vulnerable and feeling human being you are.

When your goal is to be and remain in a kind of invisible oblivion, unknown to others and even yourself you must maintain mindlessness.  If you stop munching, you might feel something, and those feelings cannot be tolerated without the healing that comes from recovery work.

Clutter as Part of Mindless Munching

So you collect, you buy, you have a clutter problem.  You attempt to declutter and even hire declutter specialists.   Clutter means different things to different people. 

Clutter can mean piles of paper and magazines.  It can mean too many cars, too many houses, too many dresses or shoes.  It can mean too many dogs or cats.  It can mean too many lovers or even too many children.  It can certainly mean too many husbands or wives.  It can mean too many dishes, too many tires on the front lawn, too many trash cans, too many arguments, too many, too many, too many, too many…..

And every aspect of “too many” has a financial consequence.  Have you ever looked at the clutter in the back of your closet or in your bathroom cupboard and wondered how much you paid in dollars for all that stuff?

This brings me to a third aspect of my gladness about Melinda Beck’s article. Its placement in the WSJ brings up for consideration the economic ramifications of mindless munching in our culture.

Eating Disorders as an Economic Force

The existence of full blown eating disorders in an every increasing segment of our population brings prosperity to many industries. 

Three Eating Disorder Areas of Purchasing Power

          1.         Diets:

                        Think of everything associated with diets:  Pills – aka drug companies;  Exercise – machines, health clubs, shoes, exercise fashion, designer water,  walking meters, magazines, personal trainers, classes, lectures, tapes, cds and dvds; Books – diet book are almost always in the top ten bestseller lists
 
          2.          Binges

                       Think of what appeals to you when you are vulnerable to a binge experience:  “Super size me” items in fast (and not so fast) food restaurants,  Junk Food – what a huge industry.  In a world where food that maintains life is becoming scarcer, we have industries pumping out non-nutritious and even dangerous  consumables geared for mindless munching on a grand scale: candy, cookies, chips, sodas and items all sorts of edibles considered “munchies”.

          3.           Body Image Distortions and Concerns

Skeletal bodies held as a beauty standard which encourage endless obsession on achieving an unachievable body without surgery, starvation, and serious health risks that can be lethal.

Pandering to this obsession creates an endless array of items and services that can be and are purchased by women with eating disorders.  Some of you will undergo surgeries of various kinds to add, remove or reshape body parts to achieve a look not achievable by a normal human body.  And of course, drugs again come up as an aid to achieve a skeletal look.    

Every item and service listed above involves buying, selling as part of huge industrial efforts.

I would very much like to see the Wall Street Journal present a well researched article that provides the financial consequences to our culture if eating disorders and all purchases that are part of living an eating disordered life, stopped.  Where would our nation be without mindless munching?

Hope and Reality

I wish the world stood outside the consulting room waiting to greet with cheers the woman who emerges with more health and eating disorder recovery as she exits the healing sanctuary to take her full place in society.

The reality is that powerful cultural as well as personal challenges need to be confronted as you move on your eating disorder recovery path.

My hope is that true eating disorder recovery will stimulate and influence a cultural recovery.  My hope is that someday we all can live mindfully and healthfully together in a culture that depends on each of us to be healthy and fully present human beings.

My determination now is to help women strengthen themselves to the point where they can recover from an eating disorder despite oppostional cultural pressures.  In other words, it would be nice if we lived in a nicer world.  But we don’t.  And you can get better anyway.

Eating Disorder Recovery and Nourishing Your Right Hemisphere

Misunderstood Nourishment

Food is nourishment.  This is an obvious fact. But eating disorders aren’t about nourishment, at least not nourishment for the body.

If you have an eating disorder you eat too much or too little or of types of food that provide little or no physical sustenance.
 
You know, and so much on the Internet repeats, that you eat or starve for emotional reasons, for soothing, for going numb.  You eat or don’t eat in order to treat your body as if it were a thing whose shape and size you can control (or can’t control).

But what does using food this way actually mean?  Why use food, which is supposed to sustain life, in a life destructive manner?

Suppose You Can Find Real Nourishment
 
Will you suppose with me?
 
Suppose you need nourishment of a kind you don’t recognize.
 
Suppose the right hemisphere of your brain, the source of intuitive awareness, emotional intelligence, creativity and emotional wisdom concerning self and others is neglected and ignored.
 
Suppose this half of your very existence is denied.
 
Suppose deep yearnings that come from this side of you are experienced as irrational, illogical, neurotic, childish, inefficient, and probably part of some anxiety problem.

Suppose then, you attempt to squelch all that yearning by overwhelming it with bingeing, purging, starving, compulsive eating activities that go along with an eating disorder.
 
Suppose you are substituting physical nourishment for the nourishment you actually need because you don’t know how to honor yearnings coming from your right hemisphere.
 
Granted, this is a lot of supposing.
 
But what if you were “looking for love in all the wrong places?”

A Personal Experiment in Nourishing Yourself
 
I propose, that as an experiment, you give some nourishment to your right hemisphere.
 
For starters, read some fairy tales.  Go to the library or a bookstore and get the old unabridged as close to the original as possible versions.  The Yellow Fairy Book is a nice place to start.
 
If you have one or more favorites from childhood, read them again with the adult mind you have now.
 
Read The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S.Lewis,
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass  (the original version),  by Lewis Carroll,
The Moonintrolls by Trove Jansson,
Peter Pan, by James Barry,
The Little Lame Prince by Dinah Maria Mulock Craik (watch out on this one.  The original is wonderful. The picture book and other new versions drain the story of its depth and significance).

Give your right brain some nourishment, some attention, some images and stories to sustain and strengthen you.

Read some poetry.

Walk slowly through an art museum and place your eyes in front of some master works. Even if you think you are not interested, give yourself this opportunity.  Your left hemisphere may not be interested in art.

However, your eyes have access to both side of your brain and the nourishment from the art will get in to your right.
 
You might be surprised at your ability to be present in this world in a more expanded way when you give yourself the kind of nourishment you didn’t know you craved.

Dreams

Pay attention to your dreams, especially when you are giving your right brain the nourishment and images to speak through your dreams in ways you may more readily understand.

Keep a dream journal, and see what happens.

Eating Disorder Recovery

You may not know keys exist in your right hemisphere.  They yearn to be used to open doors to your more full and complete life. If you nourish your right brain you have an opportunity to satisfy those yearnings you know so well.

Moving into recovery from an eating disorder doesn’t mean stopping the behaviors.  It means learning to truly nourish yourself.  It means shedding those eating disorder behaviors as the real, complete and self sustaining you emerges in the world.

Do I believe fairy tales and art can cure eating disorders?  Of course not.  Do I believe that all of you is worth nourishing well and that real nourishment is needed so false nourishment can be dropped.  Yes, I do.

 

Bingeing on Eating Disorder Recovery (not a typo)

This title is not a typo.  I don’t mean bingeing during recovery.  I mean actually bingeing on the recovery process itself.

Fear and Hope

If you have an eating disorder you enter psychotherapy with fear and hope. You fear the loss of your eating disorder, and you fear that therapy won’t work to end your eating disorder. 

You hope you will get rid of the burden of the eating disorder and you hope you will keep your life as it is so you will have access to the eating disorder when you need it.

Binge Method of Sabotage

One way to combine your fear and hope is to binge on getting well so that you sabotage your recovery.  You do this by rushing into goal-oriented behaviors.

You have a list of positive goals that you tell yourself you will work to achieve, but you don’t get very far.  This is the life of a person with an eating disorder.  You know what you would like to be able to do or not do, but you cannot make those activities real and steady in your every day life.

Does this sound familiar?

Goals

Get adequate sleep.
Eat three meals a day.
Clean and organize home.
Get back to the gym or walk every day.
Get back to classes.
Stop all bad habits (booze, drugs, negative or abusive relationships, shop lifting, lying, postponing etc.).
Fix everything that is broken – clock, watch, car, windowpane, and chair leg.
Organize money and papers. Pay bills.
Clear out clutter.
Write apology and thank you notes.
Come out of isolation and be with people.
Be responsible at work or go back to work in a responsible way.
Start the project that is meaningful to you that you never really get into.

Bingeing on Recovery

Nothing is wrong with these goals. But bingeing on recovery involves sailing into action on all these goals immediately.  You clear the decks and begin to set your life straight.

But you’ve only been in therapy for a week.  You haven’t even established a solid relationship with your therapist yet.  You haven’t healed any wounds or developed coping skills based on newly acquired strength. 

You haven’t cleared your mind or your perceptions of the eating disorder distortions that affect your ability to think and make reasonable judgments. You are bingeing.

You are filled with hope and determination.  You exhaust yourself with activity and frighten yourself by removing defenses.

Binge Aftermath

When your momentum, fueled by hope and fear, hurls you into a situation where you are more exposed and available to the world with which you cannot cope, you crash. (You always crash after a binge.)

Then you criticize yourself for failing.  At the same time, you are home in the familiar zone of binge aftermath with your eating disorder intact.

You binged on your recovery.  You feel miserable that you failed and relieved that you failed.  That’s effective sabotage.

How to Understand

Nothing is wrong with that goal list.  Nothing is wrong with you.  You are using the skills, knowledge and energy you possess to move forward with your life and cooperate with the aims of your recovery. 

But you are still governed by the force and the limitations of your eating disorder. You act out your symptoms with therapeutic goals as well as food.

Relationship with Your Psychotherapist

Your therapist will encourage you to take it easy, slow down, go gently into your work by being present for the therapy itself.  Early in therapy you’ll most likely think that she is being easy on you. 

You’ll think that she doesn’t understand how competent you are and how you have the ability to do these things. You’ll believe that she doesn’t appreciate how important these tasks are or the urgency involved in getting them done.

You may feel offended or angry or superior or all three, just as you do when anyone attempts to interrupt you in a binge.

Real Challenge in Beginning Recovery

Your challenge is to let yourself be present with this unknown person, this therapist and discover if he or she is trustworthy, is reliable, and is warm, caring and firm at the same time.

The first step in recovery is not to sail into all those goal tasks, but to develop an honest relationship with your therapist.  Establishing that relationship will allow her to help you slow down your eating disorder momentum. 

Focusing on showing up for your appointments and giving yourself a chance to have a relationship with your therapist will give your therapist a chance to help you.

Then you can believe her when she says, “You don’t have to do everything at once.  In fact, you can’t.  If you try you will only set yourself up to fail and then feel bad about yourself.”

If you can let her help you pace yourself in a reasonable way, something you can’t do if an eating disorder is running your life, you can drop the binge behavior and begin genuine recovery work.

A lot of learning happens when you discover you can binge on recovery. 

Even more learning happens when you discover you can stop that binge and open yourself to genuine recovery.

(Related blog post, “Eating Disorder Recovery: Why “To Do Lists” Work and Don’t Work”)

 

Eating Disorders, Autism and Shift to Recovery

Recommendation

I just finished reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time a novel by Mark Haddon about an autistic boy’s detective adventure and want to recommend it to you.  The book can open your emotions in a surprising way and open your mind to a different way of being in the world.

As I thought about what I would say to you about this book I remembered another, which I read some years ago, Nobody Nowhere: the Extraordinary Autobiography of an Autistic, by Donna Williams

I want to recommend this one too. They are both short, fast reads, moving, funny at times, and, to my way of thinking, mind opening.

Why the recommendation?   Because visiting another culture can open your perceptions to new and different ways of being in the world and relating to yourself and others.  And visiting another culture can give you a blast of insight regarding your own ways of being in the world and relating to yourself and others.

Culture Bound in Eating Disorders

If you have an eating disorder, you are stuck in an eating disorder personal culture that governs your feelings, your perceptions, your behaviors and your relationships (or lack of relationships). 

Because an eating disorder exercises a comprehensive and thorough influence on every aspect of your life, you can’t see it clearly.  You only have eating disordered eyes to see which makes you culture bound.

You are committed to routines without knowing you are committed to them.  You maintain these routines even if you hate them. You are stuck in patterns you can’t break. You live within the eating disorder.

Yet a small change in your patterns can mean a beginning shift from an eating disordered way of life to living a life free of eating disorder controls.  Once you step beyond the jurisdiction of the eating disorder you are in new territory where you can begin to reach for growth and healing.

Shift to Recovery

But, how do you find your way to that first tiny shift? 

That’s the question I forever ask myself because I consider it the crucial question.  That first shift can move you to a path leading to a new and better life, a healthier and longer life, a more satisfying life.  That experience, or thought or feeling or perception or fantasy or jolt or subtle dream message takes a personal form unique to each person.

These two books might lead some of you to your shift. So I invite you, in the privacy of your safe space, to observe another mind’s way of being in the world and finding ways to function among people who don’t understand the lens by which his and her world is seen and lived.

Learning from Someone Else Locked in a Different Culture Bound Experience

Visiting the inner mind of an autistic person, through the writings of Haddon and Williams, just might give your mind an opening.  You might experience compassion for the people you meet through these books and develop more understanding and compassion for your own situation.

These people are more thoroughly locked within the confines of their autism than you are within the confines of your eating disorders.

Yet the world beyond autism might be as vast as the world beyond eating disorders. As you observe these remarkable people using their gifts and talents while burdened with their limitations, you just might get a glimpse of limitations that surround you. 

Once you have an inkling of the nature of your own barriers you can consider what might be possible for you without those barriers.  Perhaps you might move a  tiny step beyond the boundaries set by your eating disorder.

You never know what little moment of feeling or insight or experience can set off your shift into recovery. That shift can begin with one tiny step.

Cultural Challenges to Eating Disorder Recovery

Challenging Cultural Messages

Our culture sends unhealthy messages to the public.  We are told to buy things we don’t want or need.  We are told to look a certain way which encourages us to buy products and services regardless of health consequences.

We are told to borrow so we can pay for products and services with money we don’t have. We are told what to want and how to look like what someone else wants regardless of our genuine personal values and beliefs.

Vulnerability to Negative Messages

Eventually, if you are vulnerable, lonely, frightened, insecure, laden with self-doubt mixed with naiveté you may succumb to these cultural messages. 

If you have an eating disorder, you have succumbed far more than you realize because the eating disorder will create a distortion in your thinking and perception.  You will be living a life dictated by cultural messages supported by economics and power rather than by the values of your authentic self.

Eating Disorder Recovery Despite Destructive Messages

Recovery from an eating disorder is difficult, arduous and requires commitment as well as time and resources.  Add to that, the great challenge of rising up from under the barrage of cultural forces that encourage eating disorder symptoms, and you get a glimpse of the courage and stability required to get well.

If you are healthy you eat and drink what supports your life.  You weigh the amount that allows you to be healthy, flexible, and strong, child bearing and long lived.  You wear what feels and looks good to you and does not cause your body harm.  You use your resources (like time, money, energy) in ways that sustain your life and do not deplete your reserves or cause you anxiety.

Finally, you invest yourself with full commitment into a life that honors your heart, your soul, your talents and gifts to live your life your way based on your authentic self.

In a life like that, contrary to many cultural dictates to women, an eating disorder cannot exist.

Danger and Safety for Women with Eating Disorders

Eating disorder behaviors, like bingeing or purging, or starving or compulsively eating are methods a woman uses to ease or ward off entirely, feelings of anxiety.

 If successful, the behaviors block the woman’s access to her feelings of fear. This may be a preferable state of being, but it can be dangerous.

 A woman can feel safe but not be safe.  A woman can be afraid and that fear can help her make herself more safe.

Reaching for immediate comfort to block fear comes in many forms. The result is that the woman can unconsciously accept a large degree of vulnerability and potential danger in her daily life.

 I’ll describe a few high-risk situations in this post and more in posts to come.

High Risk Home Environment

A woman lives alone in an apartment or a condo.  She is numb to a sense of anxiety that might come if she let her awareness awaken to the physicality of her home.

1. Her parking is not secure.  She may have to walk a block or more to each her front door.  She may park in an underground parking structure that is not well lit, not secure and leaves her exposed to predators.
2. The entrance to her building is not well lit, is shrouded with bushes, perhaps involves dark steps or a turn in a pathway that makes her invisible to others.
3. Her rooms are on the ground floor with unsecured windows facing a public walkway.

A woman who lives in any one of these circumstances may feel a low-grade sense of anxiety most of the time but not attribute her feelings to her vulnerable position at home.

She may criticize herself for feeling a bit anxious coming home and may feel shame when she runs to her front door.

Worse, and this is often the case, she is oblivious to the safety flaws in her environment and accepts as normal activities and events that may raise the level of potential danger.

If she were followed home (because of other unappreciated risk factors in her life) the person following her would have little difficulty in approaching her under these minimal secure conditions.

Certainly driving home alone after dark and then walking some distance to her front
door and/or walking through an area where a predator can lurk creates a dangerous vulnerability.

Safety Relates to Eating Disorder Recovery

Recovery from an eating disorder involves first creating a safe and secure container from which to do the psychological work necessary for healing.  Usually this is discussed in terms of the therapeutic alliance and the therapy itself.  And this is true.

But the early stages of psychotherapy and recovery from an eating disorder also involve creating a secure space or correcting a fragile space in the person’s external world.  She needs to be able to live reasonably safe from danger and more free to feel and progress on her healing path.

Also, in creating safety for herself, she can begin to learn that some of her fears are justified.  When she acknowledges realistic fears they can inform her about what positive and self-protective action she can take on her own behalf. 

This can be the beginning of developing confidence and trust in herself as she draws on her own power to genuinely care for herself.  This can be the beginning of solid recovery.

Well-lighted pathways, secure parking and other safe conditions are far more effective in keeping a person safe than any binge or purge or compulsive eating activity can ever be.

 

 

 

Eating Disorders: Response to Cry for Help

Today I received a long post from a young woman caught in a desperate tangle of bingeing, starving, guilt, shame and anxiety.  She is bewildered by her own experience and frantic to find relief without getting professional help.

Here is my response to her.  I believe she represents many young women in a similar position of suffering.

Dear S.J,

Reaching Out

Good for you for reaching out.  You are suffering and looking for a way to find relief.  That’s great.

You are in the throes of a serious eating disorder.  Looking for a way to end an illness suddenly and completely is understandable but not realistic.

You need treatment.

Shame Issues

I’m concerned when you use the word “confession.”  You are describing symptoms.  You wouldn’t feel shame about “confessing” a fever or lung infection or rash out of guilt and shame, would you?  I hope not.

Feeling severe pain would lead you to a health practitioner where you would describe your symptoms to help that practitioner help you.
 
Further, I don’t think you would expect a word or a one-time meeting to bring an end to your symptoms or your illness. Nor would you expect yourself to heal out of will power and determination.
 
Bingeing, losing all appetite or needing to binge during holiday visits with family, guilt, shame, quick weight loss diets to stop misunderstood eating disorder eating patterns, throwing food away as an attempt to control a binge and later digging into the trash to find that food and eat it are all symptoms of an eating disorder.

Feeling rushes of anxiety with these symptoms is part of the profile.  Being torn about keeping this emotional and behavioral turmoil secret and sharing it with someone who will offer support and ways to help is part of the pain and frustration of life with an eating disorder.

Past Attempts to Get Help that Didn’t Work

I’m sorry to learn that your attempts to see psychotherapists in the past were frightening to you.  I wonder how old you were, how the clinicians were selected and what the emotional environment was for your preparation to see them. 

Getting Help Now

You are older now, and perhaps in a position to select a psychotherapist based on criteria more of a match with your personal experience.

I encourage you to seek professional help from a clinician who knows about eating disorders and who seems warm and trustworthy to you. Looking for short cuts to address your illness willl only postpone recovery, and in the meantine your eating disorder can become more painful and disabling.

Resources for Finding an Eating Disorder Psychotherapist

For finding a local psychotherapist who knows about eating disorders please explore these urls.

Eating Disorder Referral and Information Center

National Eating Disorder Association

Academy for Eating Disorders

For finding support groups see:

ANAD National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders ~ The oldest national non profit organization dedicated to alleviating the problems of eating disorders and promoting healthy lifestyles.

You can also work the action plan in my (free) Triumphant Journey Workbook . 

The exercises in the workbook may be helpful to you in preparing to do the deep work necessary
for your healing.

I’m going to post a version of my letter to you on my blog.  You raise issues that I believe will help others who are not as articulate as you in describing their anguish.

Of course I will not reveal your name nor will I post your words to me.

If I can be of more help to you, please let me know.

Warm regards,

Joanna

Parental Acceptance of Eating Disorders

One of the powerful and moving moments that occur in my work as a psychotherapist is when a woman, who never sought treatment for her own eating disorder, comes in for psychotherapy for the sake of her child. 

She couldn’t rally her strength for her own well being. But when she is pregnant or has a young child she finds the courage and determination to do her own work in order to protect her child from developing an eating disorder.

Often, a child has already begun to develop symptoms, but often too, not always, but often when the mother works on her own healing she is in a better position to support healing in her child.

Love and courage bring the mother in.  Love and courage create a powerful healing force.

 

Parental Denial of Eating Disorders

When adults are in denial about their own eating disorder, they can be in a position to deny the eating disorder symptoms in their child or children.

Parents can even be angry and punishing to a child with an eating disorder because the child’s behavior threatens the adults.  The child’s symptoms have the potential to force adults to look more closely at themselves.  These parents, who believe themselves to be loving and caring people, defend their denial and defend their distorted view of themselves and their child. 

The tragic paradox of this situation is that their denial causes them to neglect and punish the child. This unempathic, non-supportive and punishing environment only increases the need for the child to maintain and develop more thoroughly, her own eating disorder.

Seeing the child with empathy and realism would force the adult to recognize her own symptoms. This is one of the terrible tragedies in a family with unrecognized and untreated eating disorders moving through the system.

What’s the answer?  Pursuing health is always the answer, and courage is always required.

 

Eating Disorder Recovery: Amazing Day

Today has been quite moving and confirming.  It seems that when I begin to wonder if I’m making any headway in my work I get gifts.

Los Angeles Hong Kong Healing Bridge

Someone asked for help in getting eating disorder treatment in Hong Kong.  Then a post arrived from a clinical psychologist in Hog Kong who specializes in treating eating disorders.  She was thanking me for my work and asked for my list of in-patient programs.  I could match them up.  wow.

Reader Benefits from My Writing

Then a reader wrote several posts telling me how much my writing has helped her and that a story in my online workbook (Triumphant Journey) described her childhood exactly.  She said it was as if I had been an observer in the room seeing what was happening on the outside and also seeing her complex inner experience.  She says that my writing has been essential in her recovery.

Former Patient Brings Health and Hope to Third World Country

And then, one more.  A post came in from a former patient - so I can’t give you details - how I wish I could.  She has become internationally famous for her heroic work in third world countries saving countless lives while often putting her own life on the line.  She tells me that she loves her life now that it’s so full of meaning and that she is forever grateful to me for making this possible.

Gratitutde

I’m glad for my studies in Buddhism.  That helps give me images to hold these feelings. I’m grateful that people write to me, sharing their rich experiences.

 I’m in awe and reassured about my work and grateful to the healing life energy in the world and in me that can make what seems like miracles happen.  Just when my skepticism about human nature was rising, I’m met with what makes human nature worthwhile and amazing.

I think I’ll sleep well tonight.

 

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