Michael Jackson: Anorexia?
For the past two nights I’ve been watching Michael Jackson videos on youtube. Here are a few.
Michael Jackson & Brittany Spears live
From New York Times: great interactive timeline of Michael Jackson’s life.
I’ve always loved his music and his distinctive and electrifying dance moves.
But I had never watched his career unfold chronologically before my eyes from first appearance as a dynamic little boy in the Jackson Five to the creative genius behind Thriller and beyond. His “We are the world” raised millions for starving children in Africa.
Yet at a low Michael was 91 pounds on a five 5′11″ frame.
Michael Jackson may have been the ultimate “poor little rich boy.”
Did he suffer from anorexia? Maybe. If he did, and I don’t know that he did, it gives me a way to think about his life as well as his death.
Anorexia is not a stand alone illness. It is accompanied by and causes many infirmities. In my opinion, the most troublesome is the thinking distortions that develop from brain cell starvation. This can make a person be powerfully resistant to effective treatment, reach unreasonable conclusions about life situations and create painful chaos in relationships.
And, of course, starvation affects every organ in the body with catastrophic consequences. If Michael were anorexic he needed careful and nourishing refeeding.
But living in a more substantial body with more mind clarity would bring him into the reality of a world he could influence tremendously but couldn’t live in personally. Body nourishment, while critical, is only the beginning. The whole person, body, mind and soul needs care and safety. With love and knowledge the person needs gentle encouragement and support to develop a healthy psychological sturdiness. That’s what makes him or her able to be present in a healthy body and cope with and thrive in a challenging world.
Michael Jackson had more challenges than most of us can ever dream of. In my opinion he may have withdrawn from the world and tried to create his own world with his massive finances. But it could never be enough. The fires of his incredible talent and charisma lit up the world and may have also burned him up from the inside.
RIP Michael. I mourn for you. I hope your legacy includes not only your magnificent body of work but also an inspiration to others. I hope your life and your death will teach others to honor personal health, authentic and unique gifts and the need to continue to develop psychological sturdiness throughout life.
I’m listening to Thriller as I write this post with eyes tearing and feet tapping. Oh, Michael.
June 28, 2009 | Filed Under Cultural Influences
YoYo weight gain and weight loss
Many people get caught in the yoyo weight gain - weight loss experience yet feel they don’t meet the various criteria for an eating disorder.
A challenging but efficient way to approach your eating dilemma is to keep a journal. Every morning if possible, write for three or four pages. Write whatever comes to you mind. And if nothing comes to your mind describe your room or what you are wearing or what you did yesterday. Just write.
Keep all your writing in a notebook so it’s not scattered sheets, and date every page. Be sure to include your feelings.
Just do this for several months. Eventually you will go through your weight gain and loss and regain because that’s your pattern. Then read your journal.
You will see how your thoughts and feelings change. You may get insight into what triggers your patterns. Once you have this information you will be better able to make your decisions about what, if anything, you need to place in or remove from your life (or both) to keep yourself steady and free from that yoyo experience.
If you don’t get any insight, or if you get insight but can’t act on what you know is best because your compulsions or anxieties get in your way, then you might consider seeing a psychotherapist. You may have unconscious forces at work that are part of having an eating disorder.
June 5, 2009 | Filed Under Coping Strategies
How often do you see your eating disorder recovery clients? Cost is an issue.
This question often comes up during a first consultation. I thought I’d answer it here so you can see the reasoning behind my response.
In my Los Angeles private practice, seeing a client once a week is minimum. Twice a week is usual. Three and four times a week is not unusual. And there are times in early work when seeing someone every day or more is necessary for a while.
The therapy work is unpredictable because each person is unique. However, for the work to have a chance at being successful, time, place and finances have to be secure.
You can’t be in a situation where you need more time and more contact but can’t afford it and have to wait two weeks or two days or even two hours while you are going through some kind of crisis.
By crisis, I mean a critical time when powerful emotions are emerging. Crises experiences like that are predictable. In fact, they are necessary and are a sign that good work and change is occurring. Even so, you will feel horrible and desperate in this situation and need the stablizing presence of your therapist to hold on to yourself. You may work through this crisis to meaning. The meaning may be involved or the meaning may be that such feeliings will not destroy you and make you act out but that, in fact, you do have a way to bear them until they pass.
THese unexpected and powerful feelings will come up periodically throughout therapy work. Without the eating disorder behaviors to shield you, you can feel frantic and near collapse. You and I don’t know what or when or why these episodes will occur from this pre-therapy position. But nonetheless we have to build a therapeutic structure so we can handle those crisis experiences and make them a positive and healing aspect of your therapy experience.
So we have to be sure, in advance that you can keep your appointments and schedule more if and when you need them.
That said, if my services are too expensive, I will try to help you find less expensive ways to secure that kind of therapeutic structure. I believe with all my heart and all my professional experience that such a structure is essential.
I may suggest classwork, support groups or 12 step programs as inexpensive support that will help sustain you between appointments.
I have a good feeling about some clinics that offer prices lower than my fees and will suggest them. Sometimes, when a person goes into recovery their circumstances change, and they enter my practice at a later time.
May 29, 2009 | Filed Under Psychotherapy, adjunct healing methods and resources
“Enough” for Your Bones, Your Recovery and Your Life
Some guidelines for people who are already in some stage of eating disorder recovery
(If you are in recovery you can hear this. If you are not in recovery your eating disorder will probably block this information or discount it.)
The National Women’s Health Information Center offers these suggestions as part of a program to help prevent osteoporosis.
- Get plenty of calcium by eating or drinking dairy products, or by taking calcium supplements.
- Eat a diet rich in vitamins and protein.
- Get enough weight-bearing exercise (where your body works against gravity). Examples include lifting weights or climbing stairs.
- Avoid smoking and excessive alcohol use.
- Get enough vitamin D
So what does this mean to someone in eating disorder recovery?
Dairy products?
Maybe not. But calcium rich foods, like broccoli? Yes.
Calcium supplements?
Maybe. But check with your nutritionist to see if you are getting your calcium in correct balance with other vitamins and minerals. And use supplements in the amounts and of the kind that are in harmony with the necessary balance you need.
Eat?
Yes! Binge? No. Eat for emotional needs? No. Eat for the vitamins and protein you need for you body, mind and emotions to be in a healthy balance so you can function well in life. Yes.
Exercise?
Yes. Obsessive running? No. Obsessive spinning? No. Over the top exercise of any kind? No. The key word in the above list is enough.
The key word in eating disorder recovery is, enough. Enough is a limit. Recovery is often about boundaries, knowing when to start and stop, knowing when to say “No”, or “That’s enough.”
Your understanding of enough begins with food. It moves on to exercise, sleep, emotional abuse, work, play, relationships. Knowing what you need, how to get, getting it, knowing when to stop, i.e. knowing when you’ve had or done enough, and then stopping is crucial to recovery and living a reasonable life.
Once you are there, at ease with your knowledge of enough, you are free to create the life that will bring you the most joy and satisfaction. This is what boundary setting and recovery are all about.
Avoid smoking and excessive alcohol use?
Of course. I don’t think we need to go into that. At long last that information is clear. Stopping when addicted is the challenge.
Vitamin D?
Yes. Vitamin D is the sunshine vitamin. You need about 10-15 minutes of sunlight on your hands, arms and face two to three times a week to get enough Vitamin D.
I garden and walk my dog every day so I’ve got the basics covered in my life. What about you?
Be in the sun? Yes. For hours? No. To sunburn level? No. Just enough to get your Vitamin D.
If you don’t have access to sunshine on a regular basis you can get Vitamin D in foods or vitamin pills.
Daily Vitamin D Requirements
Ages IU per day
19-50 200
51-70 400
71 and older 600
Recovery
Remember please, your eating disorder recovery is not just about stopping your eating disorder behaviors. Recovery is about starting your new and healthy behaviors that bring good nourishment to you in the form of food, activities, relationships, work and the blooming in your own creative life.
P.S. I like the Vitamin D chart. I want everyone with an eating disorder to get healthy and grow to a ripe, happy, feisty, vitamin D enriched old age. I want your life and your bones there so you can laugh while you lift your giggling great grandchildren to your shoulders and play.
(If you are not in recovery and read this far, I hope you will consider going into your recovery work. By all means write to get some tips on how to start.)
May 25, 2009 | Filed Under Coping Strategies
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