I have always preferred simplicity and tend not to buy things unless I really need them. It is truly amazing to see how much is accumulated unnecessarily. My mother has a clutter problem, and I find it so sad. Not only is there so much money wasted, but resources were wasted to produce those useless products, and her apartment is so full that she can barely move around. I feel like I can barely breathe when I visit her. Then, when the clutter is cleared out, the garbage mountains grow. It is a serious problem on many levels.

To recover and become aware of one’s own needs could be the beginning of the next revolution!! Not only to recover regarding food, but to recover and save our inner selves and our planet. The world population continues to increase. So many people are starving while others live in surplus. There is a lot of work to be done! Nevertheless, the main motivating factor remains selfish: recovery is for one’s self. I didn’t do it for anyone but me. Only when I take care of and love myself can I even begin to think about others and my planet. As in recovery, every little step or gesture helps.

Martha

Martha’s last blog post..More Info on Avoiding a Binge

The nice thing about recovery is, you can just jump in anywhere, start any time, and no one will judge you. It is an individual journey, which makes it that much more exciting, because each of us is entitled to find her (or his) own special path. It’s not at all about doing something the “right” way. There are many paths that lead to recovery. It really is possible to recover fully, to eat to fulfill my body’s needs, and thus enable myself to pursue my destiny!

Martha
http://www.recoveredbulimic.wordpress.com

p.s. you can substitute “life” with “recovery” and find it’s still true! Both are an ongoing process.

Martha’s last blog post..More Info on Avoiding a Binge

Thank you for letting me know! It means a lot to me to know my writing helps.

warmt regards,

Joanna

susan’s last blog post..My Brain…it’s A-Changin’

What a joy for me to read your post. You are on your healing path with tender and realistic awareness of your challenges. Brava!

You are so right about being like a toddler. You are going to your beginning places of development and growing up again, but this time with more health and support.

Toddlers need love, patience, guidance and protection from a mature person and freedom to learn from their explorations and occasional blunders. All this development needs to occur in a loving and compassionate environment..

You need that in recovery as you go about the real recovery work that involves looking in, looking out, recognizing your abilities, make decisions based on your abilities, and also nurturing yourself so you can grow beyond your present limitation and expand your abilities.

Yes, I agree with you. You are on the right track. I’m glad to be able to help.

warm regards,

Joanna

Thank you for this challenging question.

Yes, I do reflect on the many problematic issues raised in a family and particularly between mother and child when the mother has an eating disorder.

I will write more at length soon on this subject. For now, a child, especially a very young child, needs her mother’s presence. Studies now show that any separation before the age of 2 years old can cause deep difficulties for a child’s healthy development.

The whole point of an eating disorder is defense and the core of the defense is to leave, i.e. to not be present.

When a loving, caring, thoughtful and attentive mother has an eating disorder, she doesn’t know how psychologically and emotionally absent she is from her child. But the child knows.

The child will suffer pain, fear, and experience various glitches in normal development. She will also develop defenses of her own to cope with the stress of having a mother who disappears even if the mother never leaves the home.

I will write more about this Whitney. Thank you again for the question and good luck helping others with your Children with Mothers with Eating Disorders blog.

warm regards,

Joanna

I am so grateful to be reading this post of yours. I am at the point in my recovery, where what you are advocating — looking inside, looking outside — before I act on symptoms, is even possible for me. So I thank God that I have given My Self the time and the trust and the space. For too long, all that I gave to My Self was food. I am still new to recovery, but I know now that I am reaching towards more than food, more than binging. I am re-claiming a Self that has been so buried under the avalanche of food obsession. I am like a toddler, I suppose, and I am willing to leave my mother’s glance, long enough to explore more of what is surrounding me. Joanna: I am brave; I am courageous. This is the hardest thing I have done in a very long time. Your ‘long-distance’ help tells me that I am on the right road.
Should I slip backwards — that is ok! — it is simply (God’s) message that I need more time to practice, that I need more time for My Self. I feel an especial sense of calm: I am on the right track. Thank God.

Whitney’s last blog post..Children of Mother’s with Eating Disorders

Everything is upside down and twisting around on itself but in a way that feels freeing. But ultimately, it’s my choice to look at it this way.

Happiness isn’t all or nothing; impulses shouldn’t have to be now or never. There’s so much gray space in between that it’s almost unfathomable. When caught up in the all or nothing, when focused only on the here and now or the then and there, all that in between space makes it really easy to get lost. I think that has a lot to do with the ways in which so many of us (myself included, sometimes) go through mindlessly - sometimes it’s hard to believe in all of the potential that’s there.

sarah’s last blog post..Eating Disordered Thoughts that Creep Up