Happy Sexualween…er, I mean, Halloween  

I have plans to celebrate Halloween this year with my girl friends from High School. I am so excited to see my original crew. We have a costume plan for 5: the 4 of them as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle each and I’m starring as April O’Neil for the night. Gosh, it’s been years since I saw TMNT! I couldn’t even remember what she even wore. So, naturally, I searched for Halloween costumes. I found April O’Neil and her yellow jumpsuit. I found a lot of other costumes, too.

No matter what the costume type, they almost all had one similar variable: BLATANT OBJECTIFICATION of women.

Now, I am no prude. The people who know me personally know that I like to have my fair share of fun and I can definitely appreciate a sexy outfit. But, I also appreciate class. “You can pay for school but you can’t buy class.”- Jay Z …true story, Jay.

Some of these costumes are much more like lingerie than anything else. Halloween is an excuse to wear lingerie in public. I will repeat, I am not a prude, I swear. If adults want to have fun and dress up and feel and look sexy, hey, I’m all about it…to a certain classy extent. I take issue with something else.

Here, I’ll show you my issue:

So… you tell me the big difference.
“Adult” costumes on the left.
“Tween” costumes on the right.
…yeah, those are the one’s, on the right, that your 7-12 year old daughter, granddaughter, niece, et cetera might wear this year…

They all share similar qualities: super short skirts, exaggerated lace, sexy hose or knee high tights… SEX. They all have SEX in common.

In fact, in the row displaying our choices for french maids, the “tween” costume is called: Maid to Tease. What 10 year old needs to be “maid” to tease?!?
And, let’s talk about the nurses… now where in the hell have you ever seen a nurse that wears anything like those outfits at all? When I think nurse, I think scrubs… no?
And, wait? Sexy Nem-OH?… yeah… thats right. That one’s called: SEXY Nem-OH! What does that “OH” mean to you? Probably not anything you’d want your daughter or niece to know about… And how in the world did media, society and costume designers come up with the idea that an animated clown fish is sexy?

In regards to adult costumes, the blatant polarization of these adult female halloween costumes reminds me of a scene from Sex and the City. Miranda is at a small store in NYC and takes a look at the displayed choices for Halloween costumes: “The only two choices for women; witch or sexy kitten.” Truth… that is the damn truth. For Halloween, as an adult woman, you can either be frumpy and witchy or, SEXY in spandex, mini-skirts, corsets and thigh highs. Be it with bumble bee stripes or little red riding hood print, its for sure gotta be one thing: SEXY. Or, you’re frumpy. Its one or, its the other.

*Oh, and, by the way, I googled “princess costume”. Ya know what came up? A link to free pornography… Note to parents: watch your kids on this world wide web. They don’t even have to be looking for porn to find it. I wasn’t trying to find it but, I did. I found porn via a google search including the word princess…a term every single young girl knows and probably looks up to. Watch your kids…watch their unsuspecting backs.